Sign Up | Advertise | ChatGPT Guide | Unsubscribe | | | | Welcome, Noodle Networkers. | Google just went global with its AI search tools π—because apparently everyone needed AI to help find dinner, stalk their ex, and settle bets with increasingly confident wrong answers. Progress! Meanwhile, Meta's freezing AI hiring π€ after spending like a kid with a stolen credit card. That Llama might be powerful, but it doesn't pay the bills. And Nordson quietly climbed the charts π while no one was looking. Sometimes not spending billions on digital brains pays off. Who knew? | Are we witnessing a pivot to practical AI… or just watching tech giants realize GPUs don't grow on trees? Let's dig in... | | In today's AI digest: | Google expands AI search tools to users worldwide π Meta freezes AI hiring after heavy spending spree π€ Nordson rises while Meta's AI pause grabs headlines π
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| | | | $GOOGL ( ▲ 0.22% ) | | | (source: YahooFinance) | π The Digest: Google just rolled out its AI-powered search tools to 180 countries—and it's giving "know-it-all friend who now books your dinner" energy. Instead of just spitting out links, Google's AI Mode will plan your night, suggest your flight details mid-call, and even let you share the convo with friends. Basically, it's Clippy's glow-up—but global. | Key Details: | π Worldwide, But With a Catch – AI Mode is now live across most of the planet. The downside? It only speaks English for now—so it's less "universal translator" and more "gap year student who thinks everyone speaks English." | π Reservations Without the Awkward Phone Call – In the U.S., Google will now handle your restaurant bookings via OpenTable and Resy. Which means no more nervously mumbling "uhh… table for two?" into a landline like it's 1999. | π§ Search, But Creepy-Clever – AI Mode can pull info from your past searches to give "personalized" results. Translation: it knows you've searched "best late-night pizza" 14 times this month. | π Sharing the Magic (Or the Embarrassment) – You can now send your AI convo as a link. Great if you're planning a trip with friends—terrible if the last thing you asked Google was "is it unhealthy to eat six tacos at midnight." | Why It Matters (and Why It's Funny): Google just turned Search into your overbearing but helpful roommate—reminding you of your plans, booking your dinner, and lowkey judging your browsing history. Meanwhile, Apple's Siri is still struggling with "set a timer for 5 minutes." So yeah, the world just got Google's AI concierge. Just be prepared for it to recommend Italian food again… because it still remembers that one time you searched "romantic pasta date." πππ€ |
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| | | $META ( ▼ 1.15% ) | | | (source: WSJ) | π§ The Digest: Meta just hit pause on its AI hiring spree—and it's giving "spent too much at the buffet, now pretending to diet" energy. After dropping billions scooping up researchers, engineers, and GPUs, Zuckerberg's empire is taking a breather before the next course. | Key Details: | π€ Freeze, But Not Full Stop – Meta pulled the brakes on new AI hires after aggressively hoarding talent. If you're a researcher with a LinkedIn inbox, sorry—your Zuck DM just got delayed. | πΈ Spending Like a College Freshman with a Credit Card – Meta shelled out $17B in Q2 alone on AI infrastructure and raised annual spending guidance to a record $72B. Wall Street was like: "Cool… but do you even budget, bro?" | πͺ Restructure to Survive – AI efforts have been split into four units: superintelligence, consumer products, infrastructure, and long-term research. Translation: "Let's put labels on the chaos so it looks organized." | π Investors Are Sweating – The hiring freeze spooked traders, knocking Meta's stock down for its worst week since April. Apparently, "AI forever" doesn't sound as sexy when followed by "…but maybe not this quarter." | Why It Matters (and Why It's Funny): Meta isn't quitting AI—it's just catching its breath after sprinting like a caffeinated intern in a hackathon. Think of it as the tech giant saying, "We still love AI, we just can't keep swiping the company card without checking the bill first." So no, the AI party isn't over. Meta just left the dance floor to grab some water and reapply deodorant. πΊπ€πΈ |
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| | | Nordson | | | (source: WRALNEWS) | π The Digest: While Meta's AI empire slammed the hiring brakes, Nordson quietly walked in, dropped solid earnings, and strutted out with a stock bump. It's giving "steady industrial dad vs. chaotic tech bro" energy. Investors suddenly remembered you can still make money making glue guns and sealants—not just by yelling "AI" in an earnings call. | Key Details: | π ️ Nordson = Industrial Glow-Up – Q3 revenue hit $742M (+12% YoY) with EPS beating expectations. Stock jumped ~5%, proving boring old industrials can still flex while the AI kids trip over their GPUs. | π§ Meta Hits the Pause Button – After dropping $17B last quarter on AI toys, Meta froze hiring in its AI division. It's less "we quit AI" and more "we maxed out the corporate Amex and need a nap." | π Investors' Mood Swing – Meta's stock dipped on the freeze, reminding everyone that Wall Street loves AI hype until someone says, "Hold on, maybe not infinite growth forever." | π₯¦ Diet of Kale vs. Buffet Binge – Nordson stayed lean, beat expectations, and quietly won. Meta, meanwhile, went full buffet mode on AI talent, only to hit a wall and blame indigestion. | Why It Matters (and Why It's Funny): This is the tale of two strategies: Nordson, the dad at the cookout who pays bills on time, versus Meta, the college kid who bought three VR headsets and a server farm, then froze their debit card. Investors may chase shiny AI toys, but sometimes the real winners are the companies selling glue, sealant, and good old-fashioned reliability. Turns out "boring but profitable" beats "AI but expensive" every now and then. So yeah—while Meta's busy rebalancing its AI diet, Nordson's just here making industrial adhesives… and sticking the landing. π ️ππ€ |
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